dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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