The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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