Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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