I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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