Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
