Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
