You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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