love makes seman taste better
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
