So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize