I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
