I heard we made out
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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