you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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