I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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