It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
