just tell him i said nine months
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
