haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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