1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
