Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So apparently I’m into choking now
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