hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
