Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the condom got lost in my hair
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
