I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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