I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
