I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize