Dual....:-)
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
