If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Send help, water and tortillas.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
