The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
