you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
