Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
