So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm at about main and main street
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
