Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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