She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
