Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
