I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
