I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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