I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
