awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
