The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
