We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize