hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
