he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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