I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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