just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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