you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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