All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
