love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize