they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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