i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
