ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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