I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
