maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
