We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
