it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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