not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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