I think i peed on brittanys purse
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
