I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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