I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize