dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
