if i can run in heels then i can drive
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
