Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
