but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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