Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
