You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
