I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
