i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize