quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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