He asked to "fluff my boner.."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
