Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize