so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Randomize
