Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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