end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
