Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
