hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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