The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
