I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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