I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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