There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
