Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just found puke in my bra..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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