If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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